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Subject:never!
Time:12:18 pm
Current Mood:creativecreative
I'd just like you all to know that I've put a lot of thought into this....and well, FUCK LIVEJOURNAL!

Everyone's using it now. It's the cool place to hang out. But let me remind you of a little thing called deadjournal. The one that started it all... (which is actually total bullshit because deadjournal is a complete ripoff of livejournal in it's layout and in it's features [I think they actually just took the code from lj and did right-click "copy", right-click "paste", delete "live", insert "dead"]). The point is, deadjournal is where it all started for my journal use. And for many other people as well. It's so much cooler and less mainstream. The journal for non-conformists! Viva la deadjounal! *chuckles*

("chuckle" is a funny werd)

It's so sad...I go to check my friend's entries in DJ and nothing comes up. Because the last time any one of them updated was so far back that DJ doesn't even feel like showing them to me.

fozzybear! soundgarden! joshknot! cutemachine! Where did you all go?

It's like everyone stopped hanging out at my house and went the the mall. My house = deadjournal, the Mall = livejournal. And the only reason you went to the mall is because that's where everyone else went, even if you had more fun at my house in the first place.

Anyway, I refuse to give in. I know if I keep up with dj no one will end up reading my entries, but nevertheless, I must stand up for what I believe.
If any of you need me, I'll be over here:
My house
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Subject:i did that three thing TOO
Time:01:17 am
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
01. Justin
02. Justin Time
03. Jusdan
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
01. CaptainJustin37
02. MassZombieKiller
03. jerkasscapuchin
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
01. patience
02. immaturity
03. lack of fashion/style
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
01. inability to express myself (bad at speaking)
02. procrastinaton
03. not working to the best of my potential for what i want
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
01. Irish
02. English
03. ummm...mooninite
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
01. health (and along with that medical establishments and medical instruments)
02. losing friends
03. growing up/REAL LIFE
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
01. water
02. free time
03. communication
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
01. bad religion t-shirt
02. weird ring of rachel's that looks like fossils
03. black trousers
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists (at the moment)):
(let's stress AT THE MOMENT, cuz it'd take a lot more consideration if it was OF ALL TIME)
01. muse
02. dissociatives
03. massive attack
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
01. pink floyd - brain damage/eclipse
02. dissociatives - aaangry megaphone man
03. oingo boingo - change
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
01. halo 3 (no chance in hell)
02. trips to colorado (very likely)
03. kicking a passing train the next time it decides to fly by the station without stopping (painful)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
01. money
02. stamp collections
03. headrest fighting
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
01. my left testicle hangs lower than the right
02. I love my hair
03. I can't fall asleep if I'm wearing socks in bed
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
01. the smile
02. faint but visible freckles
03. uniqueness
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
01. be organized
02. sleep with twisted or uneven sheets
03. go to bed early
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
01. guitar/bass
02. running/exploring
03. xbox
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
01. make a snowman
02. go to philadelphia with rachel
03. eat cranberry sauce
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
01. independent filmmaker
02. screenwriter
03. financial analyst
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
01. Italy
02. Ireland
03. India? Japan? (someplace asian)
THREE KID'S NAMES:
01. Preston (if we're rich)
02. Buck (if we're poor)
03. Arial (if we're mermaids)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
01. push down one of those big levers that makes the dynamite explode (probably what killed me)
02. set myself on fire for comic effect among friends (also a potential death bringer)
03. share my life with the girl i love (rachel)
THREE PEOPLE WHO NOW HAVE TO DO THIS. OR ELSE:
01. yur momma
02. nevermind...
03. I have to pee
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Subject:paranoia!
Time:01:27 am
Current Mood:sleepysleepy
What is wrong with me? I'm driving myself crazy. The worst part is that I know I have no reason to get fucked up over this stuff. But it happens.

It's just stupid boyfriend jealousy shit. Rachel has a lot of friends that are boys. And it's not like I have anything against that, but sometimes I just feel like it would so much simpler if she only had female friends. And of course that's a ridiculous thing to think, and when I'm realistic about it I'm glad she's got the friends that she has. I've met a bunch of them and they are great people. And if anything, with most of them, i'd like it if she saw them more.

...but then I do this stupid thing where I make myself insane with ridiculous thoughts. Like when I call her at 1am and she's got some guy i've never met in her dorm room with her. Now, don't get me wrong. When I think logically about it, I know beyond any doubt that it was completely innocent (at least on her part), and the guy was just playing her guitar while she typed a paper. And I trust her completely. So I know there's nothing to worry about. But still, no matter what I know to be true, stuff like that gives me an uneasy feeling that is beyond my control. Not because i think something is going on...I don't know what I think, really. I just feel. uneasy. The worst part is, I take it even further with thoughts like, "she couln't see me tonight because she had too much work to do, but some other guy gets her time?"

It's so bad, this thinking that I do. And it's totally unfair to rachel. She just needs to know that I realize that my mood can be irrational sometimes. She is doing nothing wrong, and this kind of attitude from me tries to make her feel like she is. And I don't want that. Because I don't want to keep her from her friends (even if it is some guy she hasn't known very long who just happens to be the friend of an ex-boyfriend of hers) ---see? There I go again. BUT I need to stop this. I certainly don't want her to start keeping things from me because she thinks I'll act like an asshole about it. One of the things I value most in this relationship is how we aren't afraid to discuss everything with each other. I don't want that to change just because I've got some dumbass paranoia.

Again, this is all me. I can't help but get paranoid from time to time, even if it is unreasonable. It's difficult to think completely positive when you have so much to lose...






Rachel, you read this right? I wanted to write out exactly what went through my head tonight. I hope I didn't sound cranky on the phone. I wasn't. I had no reason to be. This was just a brief conflict I had in my head before you called me to say goodnight. I love you.

(i'm not the only one who gets this way, am i?)
bed time!
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Subject:raffi
Time:07:15 pm
Current Mood:confusedconfused
You guys remember Raffi? The guy that does the songs for little kids?

For some reason OUT OF NOWHERE I've been hearing Raffi in my head all day. And I don't know why. I haven't even heard of the guy in years.

What song is it?

Baby Beluga. The song about the little white whale on the go.
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Subject:start again!
Time:11:47 am
Current Mood:uncomfortableuncomfortable
I'm finally updating my livejournal to say...














I have to poop.


I'm gonna go do that now.
LATER
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Subject:Is there anybody out there?
Time:12:51 am
Current Mood:curiouscurious
Will anyone notice if I started suddenly updating my livejournal again without warning after months of complete neglect??? Let me know!
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Time:03:51 pm
Current Mood:excitedexcited
Check it out! I have blisters on my fingers! That's so awesome!

(i need to play bass more)
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Subject:bad boredom
Time:05:43 pm
Current Mood:dizzy
I just spent a good 15 minutes standing in a swivel desk chair spinning myself off the ceiling while singing along to bad religion. Then i realized what i was doing and sat down at a computer to stare at a screen.

I need something to do...

(come back rachel)
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Time:10:55 am
jerkasscapuchin: Snozberry? Whoever heard of a snozberry?

Auto response from RingoSis6: we are the musicmakers, we are the dreamers of dreams-
Willy Wonka
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Subject:tv shmeavy
Time:11:50 pm
Current Mood:sleepysleepy
dear lord, will i ever sleep?
if it's not seinfeld, it's the simpsons. if it's not the simpsons, it's the daily show. if it's not the daily show, it's king of the hill.

king of the hill???
How the FUCK did that become a TV show. And better yet, how the FUCK is it still a tv show???
It's just so painfully lame.
I can just imagine the guy pitching the show to the networks. the guy was like, "okay, I have this great idea for a tv show. it'll be an animated series about a bunch of texans, and all they do is stand around and lead incredibly bland and uninterestng lives! isn't that awesome?"
then the network guys were like, "will it be funny?"
and the guy was like, "nope! it won't even be entertaining!"
then the network guys scratch their chins..."how about the animation? how will that be done?"
and the guy answers, "incredibly cheaply. it will look like someone is really trying to draw realistic looking people, but failing miserably. not only that, but get this- and this is the real kick- the voice actors will speak completely monotone and without any emotion!"
then all of the networks guys looked at each other, and said, "alright, fuck it! why not?"

stupid tv...
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[icon] delayed response
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